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I hate the Hell out of you."
"Aren’t you glad you’re a good guy, my darling nibble buddy?" Angel smiled at me and squeezed my shoulder.
Suddenly twin shafts of black flame shot from the Devil’s outstretched hand. Both were aimed at Angel. Then at the last split second one veered toward me. Somehow Angel blocked them both and sent them back at the Devil. She began singing, "Return to sender," an old country western song.
"You dirty bitch!" the Devil shouted. "That should have fried your present eunuch who tries to be a man to a black crisp. You’re getting help from someone else. That’s not fair either."
The male heavenly choir filled the community center’s main hall with a few bars of "Oh yes, hmmm!" Then the female angelic chorus sounded with, "Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!" I looked around to see where the sounds were coming from. I couldn’t see anything.
"You cheated so I counter cheated. The Boss said it was quite permissible to counter cheat on you. We just can’t do it first so___" Her voice faded and all at once there were what seemed like millions of bolts of golden lightening zapping the Devil. Out in the parking lot I heard an explosion and a scream.
"You blew up my Humper County Helper!" the Devil shouted and tried to counter attack. It was all over in seconds and the Devil shouted, "Curses!" and disappeared.
"He’s such a jerk," Angel said to me. I guess that’s why he’s the Devil, he can’t get anything right."
"Uh, you mean there really is a Satan?" I asked her. This was real mind-boggling information. For some reason I never really thought there was a real Hell presided over by a real Devil. "Well, shit!" I exclaimed.
"That’s what he does best, misdirects people." She waved a hand and the broken bits of glass quickly rose into the air and floated towards the various empty windows. Within seconds the glass had all reformed itself in each window so that all the panes were replaced. There was one difference though, now they were all now clean.
Everybody looked at each other and back at Angel. One lone soul started to clap and then another until the hall was filled with the sounds of clapping hands and cheers.
"Come on, Rupert baby, we have time for on last goodbye fuck and I want to make it a doozy. She took me by the hand and pulled me out to the new Blazer with the custom convertible top and fancy roll bars.
"You drive," I said, "Right now my mind is so totally blown I don’t think I could drive us anywhere." I got in on the passenger side and sat. Angel got in behind the wheel and started the engine. We drove off quickly as the band started to play another slow dance. One thing about the small farm towns in Oklahoma, nothing will interfere for very long with a Saturday night dance. Well, sex has been known to divert our attention for a little bit, but that’s more in the lines of incorporation than interference.
When the Blazer pulled up in my driveway a series of outside floodlights came on. There was a circular drive with a bug fishpond in the center. A big, beautiful statue of a naked winged angel stood in the middle holding a stone hose that looked suspiciously like a prick. The house with the port au chez extending out over the drive looked humongous.
"What…?" I couldn’t get any further. I was speechless.
"Well, aren’t you going to carry a naked girl over the threshold?" she asked.
I turned and looked. She was completely naked. "Oh. Of course," I swept her up in my arms and carried her across the threshold. As we entered I heard that heavenly choir of angels sing in perfect unison, "Oh yeah."
I carefully placed her on the floor and started to undress. All my clothes fell off of me. Suddenly I was suspended in the air and my shoes both came off at the same time. Angel slowly came over to me and bent over and took me in her mouth. "Hot damn!" the male choir sang. Then I got busy and ignored all those lecherous angels who were watching.
After a few minutes of sucking, she took my hand and drew me to the floor. "Rupert, baby, this is our farewell fuck and we are going to do it up in high style. Come to Mama." Of course we started off going sixty-nine. The feeling was literally "out of this world." Each slow up and down motion on my peter created a long drawn out cycle of passion. I was aware of her lips as they surrounded and engulfed me. Her tongue seemed to vibrate and flutter, sending spasms of thrills through out my whole body. I was aware of each and every sensation I felt as her teeth gently nibbled and gnawed.
My mind was incapable of thought. I could only experience feelings and emotions of the most primitive kind. I also experienced a deep, passionate love like I had never felt before in my life. Slowly we changed around and she whispered insistently in my ear,
"Fuck me hard, fuck me long, and fuck me deep!" I did my best to oblige.
As the last spasm of the last orgasm subsided, she rolled over and said, "Take me in my ass. Now!" I still thought this was unseemly speech for an angel. But another part of me said, "Shut up and fuck!" That is exactly what I did. The last one was world class. I finished it off and passed out still in her.
I awoke the next morning and she was gone. There was no sign anywhere she had ever been there. The carpet on the floor was still some of a thick pile woven material. I walked outside and saw my new Custom Blazer convertible. The fishpond was still in the center of the new circular drive. The naked winged angel was still in the center holding a stone hose that still liked like a hard penis. I looked down into the water and saw, naturally, angelfish. I looked up at the statue and smiled. It bore a striking resemblance to either Betty Boop or Angel. Then the statue winked at me and smiled and I knew.
I was standing there naked when I heard a car pull up in the drive behind me. I turned around and saw a very pretty woman about my own age. She looked so wholesome I was surprised she didn’t back out and take off when she saw me standing there with nothing on.
"Hi," she said, "I’m looking for the town of Humper. Can you tell me where it is?" She stared at my slowly hardening cock and smiled. "Is it house broken?" she asked.
"Come on in the house and I’ll get you a map and show you where you went wrong." I turned back toward the front porch.
"I think I started to go wrong when I pulled into your driveway." She laughed and I heard the car door slam shut as she got out and followed me into the house. The male angelic choir sang "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" Those peeping toms were still around watching.
"What was that?" she asked as she heard the voices.
"It’s the acoustics in this place. It’s a new house." I turned and kissed her.
Three hours later I led her out of the house and handed her into my Blazer. I got the top to roll back and drove her into Humper. She was the new schoolteacher and my new roommate as well. "Way to go!" the statue called softly to me.
"What was that" Did you hear a voice?" Melinda Coy asked. She looked around and saw nothing.
"Oh, you’ll get used to it," I reassured her. "This place has some special qualities." I stopped at the picnic grounds and showed her the interesting spots down by the riverbank. She was very interested in riverbanks, it seemed.
I figured if I had sneezed a third time in her pussy, Angel would have probably taken me back to Heaven with her.
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